I haven’t always been the most pleasant person to spend time with; I was often the kind of person to make a fuss, pout, argue or get anxious when things didn’t go my way. I would complain and even cry to get my way. I don’t know why I did it, because getting my way through coercion was always bittersweet. But the point is, I honestly didn’t realise how unpleasant it was to be around someone like that. I was acting like a child, and as such, I didn’t have any insight into the way others felt or perceived me.
Lately I have gotten to know a couple of other people who are this way too. And, for some reason, whenever I am with them I am an easy going person. It’s like the group can’t handle two difficult people, so one wins out. Sometimes it’s me; but the times when I’m not the difficult one, I love it.
I love it when I can be easy going.
So why can’t it be me all the time? Obviously the solution is not to only hang out with other difficult people, because that would drive me mad. So, even if they never read this, I’m sorry to the friends that I have driven mad with my behaviour.
Being easy going is just so much easier. There is so much less effort involved, less energy expended, and people seem to genuinely like being around you, which is great for your self esteem. Sometimes you won’t get your way, sometimes you will…but who’s to say someone else’s way won’t bring you enjoyment anyway?
It’s going to take a lot of mindfulness, practice, and patience, but from now on, I’m going to be easy going all the way.