I actually feel like my life is starting to come together.
I spent the day with family, and I had a great time. I stayed aware of my behaviour and when I noticed myself acting unpleasantly, I reigned it in. I’m enjoying my studies and am actually excited about my future. I’ve been socialising a lot, and I feel my life becoming fuller. Right now, I’m pretty close to happy.
The one bummer at the moment though is that I’ve started dreaming about my ex every night. Upsetting dreams where he hates me, he has a new girlfriend, or is breaking up with me again (usually all three in the one dream), and all the progress that I’ve made over the past weeks is gone. I wake up tired, sad, scared and sick.
I want to work out what the dreams mean. Is my subconscious trying to make me hold on to him? Make me let go of him? Make me deal with suppressed feelings? Is it because I avoid thinking about him while awake, so the only time I can process it is when I’m asleep?
Is my subconscious trying to sabotage my progress?