At my therapy session on Wednesday, it was pointed out to me that the way I speak to myself is not helping to make my recovery any easier.
Apparently I use a lot of absolute and negative expressions, such as “I can’t”, “I never”, “I always” and “it’s too hard”.
And then my brain believes it. And that’s when I start to get overwhelmed by it all, and give up on myself.
I need to start paying a lot more attention to how I speak to myself, and the way I think. Even my last post, where I came to the conclusion that I am a “relationship person”, is a rigid way of thinking that I need to get out of. I need to stop pigeon holing myself, and by extension my situation. I need to become more flexible in my thinking.
I’m not a relationship person; I’m a person that prefers to be in a relationship.
My recovery isn’t “too hard”; it’s hard, but I will take it one day at a time, and keep trying.
I will no longer say with absolute certainty that no one will ever love me again; it may happen, it may not. If I can’t guarantee something one way, then I certainly can’t guarantee it the other way.
I won’t tell myself that I will always get hurt in relationships; I may get hurt again, and I need to ensure that I am strong enough emotionally to cope with that possibility, even though it may never eventuate again.
If I change my language, then perhaps I can become more flexible, more accepting, more easy going.
I can’t automatically switch from being a pessimist to an optimist, but I will settle for reaching neutral for the time being. Once I get there, optimism is just one jump further.