Days 56-57 – Mind Your Language

At my therapy session on Wednesday, it was pointed out to me that the way I speak to myself is not helping to make my recovery any easier.

Apparently I use a lot of absolute and negative expressions, such as “I can’t”, “I never”, “I always” and “it’s too hard”.

And then my brain believes it. And that’s when I start to get overwhelmed by it all, and give up on myself.

I need to start paying a lot more attention to how I speak to myself, and the way I think. Even my last post, where I came to the conclusion that I am a “relationship person”, is a rigid way of thinking that I need to get out of. I need to stop pigeon holing myself, and by extension my situation. I need to become more flexible in my thinking.

I’m not a relationship person; I’m a person that prefers to be in a relationship.

My recovery isn’t “too hard”; it’s hard, but I will take it one day at a time, and keep trying.

I will no longer say with absolute certainty that no one will ever love me again; it may happen, it may not. If I can’t guarantee something one way, then I certainly can’t guarantee it the other way.

I won’t tell myself that I will always get hurt in relationships; I may get hurt again, and I need to ensure that I am strong enough emotionally to cope with that possibility, even though it may never eventuate again.

If I change my language, then perhaps I can become more flexible, more accepting, more easy going.

I can’t automatically switch from being a pessimist to an optimist, but I will settle for reaching neutral for the time being. Once I get there, optimism is just one jump further.

2 thoughts on “Days 56-57 – Mind Your Language

  1. well, i think whether your linguistics turns out to be either absolute or negative experiences, as long as you give it your all to those positive experiences that you believe in, you’ll come through for sure! ^_^

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