Days 89-90 – Not the End

Soooo, it’s been 90 days since starting this blog. Am I cured? No, not quite. Am I better? Quite a bit. Do I still have down days and hiccups? Yes. Am I disappointed? Not at all. I think I’m much closer to the realm of what are acceptable/average emotional ups and downs. Will I keep […]

Day 88 – Oxytocin, stop making things hard! Kthnxbai!

I haven’t been super successful about not thinking about The Singer. I’ve been watching his music videos and interviews on YouTube, and listening to his album all day. Concentrating in class was an exercise in futility.We spoke tonight on Facebook which has sated me a little bit. I need to try harder. I know it’s […]

Day 81-83 – T minus 7 days

So, there is one week left of this 90 day challenge. It’s been hard lately to think of things to write about, as I feel I’ve had so many insights and revelations into myself, and now all there is to do is keep practising. College is almost over for the year, I have one more class […]

Day 80 – Brain: “Fuck you”

Lately I feel like I’ve been doing so well, and then my brain goes, “Fuck you! Here’s some more shit to swill!” Ok, well, maybe not. I’m feeling kind of shitty today, because I’ve started dreaming about my ex again. I’ve felt like I was almost over the hump towards letting him go, but then […]

Day 78-79 – “Don’t listen to her, she doesn’t even have a family”

I’m feeling so miserable and alone today. Last night I spoke on the phone to my sister, who is currently fighting with her husband. She was venting to me about it, and I was doing my best to listen to her and encouraged her to seek help, as her addiction is one of the problems. […]

Day 77 – Love is a Risk

I had a good session with my therapist today, in which we discussed the reasons for my jealousy and steps to deal with it. Talking with her, it became clear just how scared I am about being in a relationship again and exposing myself to those feelings again. But that fear lead to another fear; […]

Days 74-76 – Jealous Much?

Things have been pretty good lately in the world of Sparrow. Even so, I’ve noticed that I still get a scared, nauseous feeling whenever  the concept of jealousy comes up. When I hear about people who have cheated, (male) exes who have moved on after painful break-ups or how someone’s (usually female) ex is “crazy”, this horrible feeling wells […]

Days 72-73 – “Stop being such a spaz”

I watched The Sitter today, a movie starring Jonah Hill. It was a piece of fluff with a few good laughs, but one scene from the movie has stuck with me. In a scene of particularly high tension, one character, a woman in her early twenties, began to freak out much in the manner that […]