Today I felt really happy.
The weather was beautiful, and as I drove to my mum’s house, windows down, radio on, I noticed that I felt different. Happy. To be honest, it was a strange feeling after such a hard year.
Of course, I know a large factor in my feeling this way is because of someone I have met. Well, not actually met yet, but have been getting to know online. I keep telling myself to not get too excited, considering I have no idea if we will hit it off when we finally do meet, but then I thought:
“Screw it! I’m going to just enjoy being happy today!”
And that’s ok, right? I’m not telling myself this guy is going to solve all my problems, I’m just enjoying the feeling of connecting with another human being. And even if it doesn’t work out, he’s helped me to realise how important it is to me to have a partner that is emotionally available and accepting of my downfalls. Which he is. And it’s a good feeling to not have to hide that part of me like I have at the start of every other relationship I’ve entered into.
I’m finally realising that my ex isn’t that person. At least, not right now, and not without a lot of work on his part. And if he’s not ready to put that work in, that’s ok too. Maybe one day, maybe not. I don’t know, and that’s ok.
I’m going to get on with my life now. And be grateful for the little bits of happiness that come my way.
Because that’s what life is right? Hard times, neutral times and good times, punctuated by moments of bliss. And we have to accept it all.