I don’t really have anything to talk about today; I’m busy again with college and I’ve been feeling pretty good lately. I know this is the time that I need to be careful not to let my progress slip again though; like I’ve said before about stopping a course of antibiotics before all the tablets are gone.
So today’s post isn’t going to be particularly profound, I’m just writing it to keep in the habit.
Something that I have been pulled up on in the past by ex-boyfriends is a baby voice that I sometimes do. Every time I was called on it I would become really defensive.
Lately, though, I’ve noticed someone who I am close to also puts on a baby voice, and it is really freaking annoying. She usually does it when making a request, I suppose to soften the forcefulness and to not seem demanding. And when she is with her boyfriend, I almost never hear her true voice.
It’s pretty off putting to me, and makes me not want to ever do it again. It’s amazing how seeing someone else with the same bad habit as you can cure you of it.
I understand now that my ex-boyfriends wanted to see me as a woman and an equal, and not a helpless little girl. I wasn’t ready to be her before, but now I’m finally ready to become that woman. A woman who is self-sufficient and who chooses to be with a man because she enjoys his presence, not because he can make the monsters go away. Letting go of the baby voice isn’t all that it will take, but it is symbolic of the fact that I am becoming her.
And a note for the future: next time I need to break a habit, spend some time with someone else with that same habit!