Days 89-90 – Not the End

Soooo, it’s been 90 days since starting this blog.

Am I cured? No, not quite.

Am I better? Quite a bit.

Do I still have down days and hiccups? Yes.

Am I disappointed? Not at all. I think I’m much closer to the realm of what are acceptable/average emotional ups and downs.

Will I keep blogging? Yes. I still have areas that need work, and I’ve found this blog to be immensely helpful in identifying and working through them. It’s also been a great motivator, as it discourages complacency.

What I have found most helpful so far in my journey has been mindfulness. When I get caught up in my emotions, I try my best to take my head elsewhere, listen to the world, breathe. Once I get a little distance from the emotions, it’s much easier to question them, question my thought patterns, and not blindly accept that my thoughts and feelings are the truth. Sometimes I’m less successful than other times, but I’m getting better all the time.

Accepting my reality has been a huge step, too. This is much easier to do if you can find the lesson in everything that happens. It makes life seem less random and unfair. If you can learn something from a situation, then it is never for nothing.

Consciously stopping myself from judging others has been a huge help towards being more accepting of myself. It is insecurity that leads me to judge others, which creates more insecurity in me. Stopping the judgement puts a halt to that cycle. I realise others are likely still judging me, but so what? It’s probably just because they feel insecure themselves.

Another big thing has been letting the adult in me decide on actions I take. Letting the child in me do whatever she wants leads to bad decisions that are not good for me. I still let myself have fun, I just make sure I’m not hurting anyone, and that I can deal with whatever consequences arise from the decisions I make.

Above all, I’m patient and gentle with myself. I accept that I will stumble from time to time, but I always use these missteps as an opportunity to learn. I am happy with any progress I make.

I think the 90 day Challenge has been such a success that I will extend it. Bring on the next 90 days!

2 thoughts on “Days 89-90 – Not the End

  1. Your blog is an inspiration to me, Sparrow. I find it immensely interesting to read through your progress and can relate to so much of it myself. Gives me hope!

    • Wow, thank you so much for saying so. I’ve been feeling a little invisible in the world lately, so it’s nice to hear I’ve made a difference in any small way.

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