Days 92-94 – Crazy brain

I’ve officially finished college for the year; I got the results of my final assessment today and I have passed everything. That’s great. Except now I have 3 long, empty months looming ahead of me.

I’m feeling desperate to get out and meet people. It feels like if I don’t go out RIGHT NOW I’m going to miss out on something. Miss out on meeting someone. And the longer I sit here home alone, the more likely it is that I will wind up an old maid.

I had such a good time last weekend, and I want to experience that ALL THE TIME. I want to feel like I’m alive, and part of the world. And now that class is officially over and I have nothing to get me out of the house each day, I’m already starting to feel the walls close in around me.

Right now all I want to do is meet men, flirt with men, sleep with men. My brain is crazy with it. Last weekend I felt more alive than I have in god knows how long, and I want that feeling back.

I’m hoping this is temporary, and that I will meet someone soon who will settle down my brain. I tell myself it is hormones triggered by last weekend’s encounter; that my childless 32 year old body wants a baby in it, and is willing to do whatever it can to get one before its time runs out.

This post has degenerated somewhat. I should go now…

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