I still go around feeling pretty inadequate at times. Like I’m not a fully formed person, or all of my disparate pieces don’t fit together into a cohesive human being.
I often feel like I lack an identity, because I don’t have a passion. I have interests, but they are spread wide and none of them really excite me. I’m not interested in any one thing enough that I fit in with a group, and often a group of people gather based on common interests. I feel like an outcast in this way.
I look at others and I imagine they all know where they are going, know who they are, know what they like and know where they fit.
It’s the Facebook Illusion, in human form. I can only see what they choose to show, and I guess most people don’t show all the gaps and cracks and ill fitting pieces of themselves, at least not until they’ve known you a while.
I suspect it is only the extremely shallow or truly enlightened folk that feel complete.
I think the best I can do right now is to stop thinking of myself as incomplete and stop fooling myself that nobody else is.
I just wish I had a passion. And that I could find my people.