So far the new year has been good to me. I’m doing my best to keep myself busy; seeing bands, learning bass guitar, working on my Japanese, trying to paint, helping mum with her business and making lots of new friends. Including some female friends which I’m extremely happy about.
All throughout this journey I have continually reminded myself to find the lesson in everything that happens to me. After all, if you learn from it, no experience has been for nothing. Lately though, I have been forgetting to do this, and have often found myself questioning why these things keep happening to me. Well, duh, they keep happening because I keep missing the lesson.
I had an a-ha! moment the other day while driving. Lately it seems I have been having terrible luck with men; I am constantly being rejected by the ones that I am attracted to. I know this wouldn’t be easy or pleasant for anyone, but as someone with borderline personality disorder and severe fear of abandonment, I think it may be especially difficult to take.
I realised the Universe has been trying to harden me up to rejection, and give me a chance to practice respecting boundaries. And as soon as I realised this, I also realised it has been working. Each rejection gets a little easier to take, a little easier to see that it’s not the end of the world, and a little easier to accept that I can’t control people to get what I want.
I’m truly starting to believe that the Universe will give us what we need, when we need it. Even if it seems harsh. It only seems chaotic and random when we don’t try to find the reasons behind why it is we get what we get.