Day 394 – I’m Going To Die Alone

I don’t know why but I’m pretty sure I’m cursed. I’m so lonely. Why do other people get to meet people and fall in love? Why can’t that happen for me? I’m not hideous. I’m not cruel. Why do people not seem to think twice about hurting me? I can’t act normally anymore, I can’t […]

Day 376 – Do I Even Have BPD?

I’ve actually been thinking this for quite a while but I haven’t wanted to post it here, considering that the blog is called “From Borderline to Better”. But, I don’t know if I’m being fair to myself if I don’t. The blog started because I wanted to get better from borderline personality disorder, but it […]

Day 373 – Post 100 – Mixed Emotions

I’ve been feeling a bit up and down lately. I’m not having mood swings but feeling both positive and negative emotions at the same time. I suppose it’s better than just feeling down, but it’s pretty confusing. There are a few reasons for the way I’m feeling. First, I’m feeling an immense sense of relief because […]

Day 370 – Group Therapy

Today I went to my first group therapy session. I had been on the waiting list since my latest hospitalisation almost two months ago, and had been holding out a lot of hope that I would get some benefit from it. I was told the therapy focused on reducing emotional discomfort and increasing the ability to […]

Day 368 – Peeling off the Band-aid Slowly

I’ve been so scared to let go of things; people, control, plans. I’ve equated letting go with giving up hope. But I think the thing that was hardest for me to deal with was the pain that comes with letting go, the shock of suddenly not having that thing that made you feel secure. Today […]

Day 366 – “But I’m a Victim…”

My father called my mother to explain why he said what he said on our last phone call. He said it was specifically to get me angry, so that I could express my anger towards him, and then move past it. Well, I think it was a particularly shitty plan. It doesn’t work to make […]