I’ve been so scared to let go of things; people, control, plans. I’ve equated letting go with giving up hope. But I think the thing that was hardest for me to deal with was the pain that comes with letting go, the shock of suddenly not having that thing that made you feel secure.
Today it occurred to me that letting go doesn’t have to be like ripping off a band-aid, and maybe for those of us who still have trouble regulating our emotions, it’s safer not to. Ripping it off in one go can be excruciatingly painful, and I’m just not equipped to deal with that yet, without risking going off the deep end and possibly hurting myself again. Maybe one day, but not yet.
It makes much more sense to ease the band-aid off millimetre by millimetre, so that you barely feel it at all, and then one day, before you know it, that band-aid is all the way off. Yeah, sure, the pain may be prolonged, but a medium term niggling pain is much easier to cope with (for me) than that short term punched-in-the-gut pain. And if it’s not actually a band-aid we’re talking about but letting go of someone or something, that punched-in-the-gut feeling isn’t going to go away quickly anyway. The pain will still be drawn out.
So, I’m going to try to let go of the things that aren’t doing me any good slowly. Just phase them out, train myself to think about them a little less each day. Eventually those things will be out of my life and I won’t even notice they were gone.