Day 521 – Maxed Out on Pain

I’ve been hurt again. I don’t want to go into details, but it’s the same story, different man. The American. He’s new. New-ish. In my life long enough to hurt me. And I know I can’t risk being hurt again anytime soon, and so I have no business putting myself out there right now.

I started to feel a little hope again. Had started job hunting. Had a business idea that I was excited about. Having little bits of goodness in my life motivates me to seek out more. But now I’ve crashed again. No job, no plans to continue studying, no love interest, and my life looming ahead of me, empty.

There is an illusion that a new year brings a new start. Everything is fresh and clean. Anything can happen. But nothing has really changed. January 1 is just the day that follows December 31.

One thought on “Day 521 – Maxed Out on Pain

  1. Pingback: Day 549 – “You Want it Too Badly” | From borderline to better

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