Day 78-79 – “Don’t listen to her, she doesn’t even have a family”

I’m feeling so miserable and alone today. Last night I spoke on the phone to my sister, who is currently fighting with her husband. She was venting to me about it, and I was doing my best to listen to her and encouraged her to seek help, as her addiction is one of the problems. […]

Day 77 – Love is a Risk

I had a good session with my therapist today, in which we discussed the reasons for my jealousy and steps to deal with it. Talking with her, it became clear just how scared I am about being in a relationship again and exposing myself to those feelings again. But that fear lead to another fear; […]

Days 63-64 – On Being a Big Baby

Yesterday I didn’t get my way. And I had a tantrum. I’m not going to dignify it by saying it was a panic attack or anything like that, it was a tantrum, pure and simple. I was being a big baby. While it was happening, it felt so awful. I kept telling myself that I […]

Days 49-50 – Emotional Glitch

Yesterday I was discussing with a friend “after breakup avoidance”; where you avoid places, situations, songs, etc, that remind you of your ex, as an attempt to avoid the negative feelings that these things bring up. Apparently this behaviour will actually prolong the heartache; the association with pain will be cemented and the things that you avoided will, […]

Days 47-48 – Clawing Back out of the Hole

Yesterday was one of the worst days yet. It was so disappointing for me after feeling like I’d made so much progress. I had to leave class early and I cried all the way home on the train. Try as I might to distract myself, the thoughts of ending my life were relentless. Sometimes I […]

Day 37 – Subconscious Sabotage

I actually feel like my life is starting to come together. I spent the day with family, and I had a great time. I stayed aware of my behaviour and when I noticed myself acting unpleasantly, I reigned it in. I’m enjoying my studies and am actually excited about my future. I’ve been socialising a […]