Day 358 – Distress Tolerance

All week I’ve had these awful feelings inside me that I just want to get away from somehow. In my stomach and in my chest, it’s a gnawing, aching, burning feeling. It’s emptiness, loneliness, meaninglessness. I’ve never been able to sit with these feelings before. Normally I would take Valium and try to zone out […]

Day 355 – Nothing.

In a bid to find a bit of hope again I went to see a psychic today. He came recommended. But after my consultation, it’s clearer than ever that the universe wants me to start again, with nothing. Or to find hope on my own. The universe is not going to throw me any bones. […]

Days 102-105 – Where are my People?

I still go around feeling pretty inadequate at times. Like I’m not a fully formed person, or all of my disparate pieces don’t fit together into a cohesive human being. I often feel like I lack an identity, because I don’t have a passion. I have interests, but they are spread wide and none of […]

Day 34 – Single September

I spoke to my therapist today about how I still feel so empty when interacting with people with whom I have a platonic relationship, and I asked if it meant something is wrong with me. She said it’s probably just because it is something I don’t have practice with and haven’t become comfortable with. And […]