Day 373 – Post 100 – Mixed Emotions

I’ve been feeling a bit up and down lately. I’m not having mood swings but feeling both positive and negative emotions at the same time. I suppose it’s better than just feeling down, but it’s pretty confusing. There are a few reasons for the way I’m feeling. First, I’m feeling an immense sense of relief because […]

Day 360 – Hypervigilance

I had signed up to participate in a psychological study at my university today, not quite knowing what it was about but it sounded fun and it would give me a little credit towards my final grade in my psychology class. I turned up, only to find that only two others had shown up. While […]

Day 357 – Treat Them Like a Friend

This is going to be short, because I have to run to work in ten minutes. But yesterday, The Onliner broke his silence. We only texted two lines to each other, because his message came as my break ended. And I’ve been trying to work out how to talk to him now. Last week we […]

Day 350 – Starting Over, but not from Square 1

This past month my life has again spiraled out of control. Most of this entire year I have neglected my recovery, and in a lot of ways I feel like I have slid all the way back to where I was this time last year. I have been angry with myself, admonishing that if only […]

Days 102-105 – Where are my People?

I still go around feeling pretty inadequate at times. Like I’m not a fully formed person, or all of my disparate pieces don’t fit together into a cohesive human being. I often feel like I lack an identity, because I don’t have a passion. I have interests, but they are spread wide and none of […]

Day 95 – Unprocessed Emotions

I’m a little embarrassed about yesterday’s post, but what’s the point of having a blog if I am going to edit how I feel? It was a good example of posting about raw emotions that I hadn’t yet had time to process. I woke up today with the same feeling of, desperation I suppose. It […]