Day 495 – It’s Not Fair

It’s not fair, is it? The child whose mother drank while pregnant and now has a cognitive impairment. The man crossing the road who got hit by a drunk driver and can no longer walk. The woman who dared to stand up for herself and got acid thrown in her face. The boy whose father […]

Day 376 – Do I Even Have BPD?

I’ve actually been thinking this for quite a while but I haven’t wanted to post it here, considering that the blog is called “From Borderline to Better”. But, I don’t know if I’m being fair to myself if I don’t. The blog started because I wanted to get better from borderline personality disorder, but it […]

Day 370 – Group Therapy

Today I went to my first group therapy session. I had been on the waiting list since my latest hospitalisation almost two months ago, and had been holding out a lot of hope that I would get some benefit from it. I was told the therapy focused on reducing emotional discomfort and increasing the ability to […]

Day 366 – “But I’m a Victim…”

My father called my mother to explain why he said what he said on our last phone call. He said it was specifically to get me angry, so that I could express my anger towards him, and then move past it. Well, I think it was a particularly shitty plan. It doesn’t work to make […]

Day 360 – Hypervigilance

I had signed up to participate in a psychological study at my university today, not quite knowing what it was about but it sounded fun and it would give me a little credit towards my final grade in my psychology class. I turned up, only to find that only two others had shown up. While […]

Day 355 – Nothing.

In a bid to find a bit of hope again I went to see a psychic today. He came recommended. But after my consultation, it’s clearer than ever that the universe wants me to start again, with nothing. Or to find hope on my own. The universe is not going to throw me any bones. […]

Day 326 – Confronting the Devil, Part 2

Continued from Part 1 The message from The Onliner was brief, but the relief I felt was immediate and immense. This further indicates to me the depth of my problem. If a mere message from someone I’ve never met can pull me from the brink of suicide, that is not healthy. His message was that […]

Day 108 – Finding Myself so as not to Lose Myself

I want a relationship. Is that in itself a problem? I fear that the correct attitude should be “I’m happy the way things are and I am open to a relationship when I meet the person who inspires those feelings within me.” I fear that until I feel that way, the Universe will hold out on […]

Day 77 – Love is a Risk

I had a good session with my therapist today, in which we discussed the reasons for my jealousy and steps to deal with it. Talking with her, it became clear just how scared I am about being in a relationship again and exposing myself to those feelings again. But that fear lead to another fear; […]