Day 484 – I’m Not Even A Factor

This week my mind feels like a sludgey ball of tangled twine. It’s heavy, and I can’t pick out specific thoughts. I feel like I’ve done some damage to my brain. There is definitely some psychological damage up in there. The situation I am in is obviously too much for me to deal with. A […]

Day 401- Not even I want to be with me

After last weeks post I was briefly up, but now I’m down. I thought I was cursed, and then suddenly it felt like The Onliner was being affectionate towards me again. And I also met someone new in real life, The Suit,  who seemed to not be instantly scared away and wanted to get to […]

Day 359 – Attachment Styles

I’ve been doing a lot of reading about attachment styles today. There are basically three types: anxious-preoccupied, avoidant-dismissive and secure. The names may vary, depending on where you read about it, but the definitions are the same. We can probably identify with elements of each, but will be predominantly one more than any other. Our […]

Day 355 – Nothing.

In a bid to find a bit of hope again I went to see a psychic today. He came recommended. But after my consultation, it’s clearer than ever that the universe wants me to start again, with nothing. Or to find hope on my own. The universe is not going to throw me any bones. […]

Day 133 – Feeling Like a Leper

I feel like I’ve contracted leprosy. Dipping back into black and white thinking, and I know I need to challenge it. It seems like I can’t get anyone to spend time with me to save my life. The people I thought I was becoming friends with, unfortunately predominantly male, all seem to withdraw their friendship […]

Days 131-132 – Liar Liar Pants on Fire

Waking up this morning lonely and hungover it hit me that I’ve been lying to myself about not wanting a boyfriend. Turns out I do. Last night I went to see the band of one of the three men that I am interested in, that I wrote about in my last post. The Enigma’s band. […]