Day 401- Not even I want to be with me

After last weeks post I was briefly up, but now I’m down. I thought I was cursed, and then suddenly it felt like The Onliner was being affectionate towards me again. And I also met someone new in real life, The Suit,  who seemed to not be instantly scared away and wanted to get to […]

Day 108 – Finding Myself so as not to Lose Myself

I want a relationship. Is that in itself a problem? I fear that the correct attitude should be “I’m happy the way things are and I am open to a relationship when I meet the person who inspires those feelings within me.” I fear that until I feel that way, the Universe will hold out on […]

Days 102-105 – Where are my People?

I still go around feeling pretty inadequate at times. Like I’m not a fully formed person, or all of my disparate pieces don’t fit together into a cohesive human being. I often feel like I lack an identity, because I don’t have a passion. I have interests, but they are spread wide and none of […]

Day 91 – “False friends are worse than no friends at all”

I had a fight with a friend over Facebook yesterday, the details aren’t important. At the end of it though, I found myself apologising for my behaviour; I wanted to acknowledge my role in the matter, knowing that we were both in the wrong. However, no apology from his end came, or even an acknowledgement of my apology. The […]

Day 81-83 – T minus 7 days

So, there is one week left of this 90 day challenge. It’s been hard lately to think of things to write about, as I feel I’ve had so many insights and revelations into myself, and now all there is to do is keep practising. College is almost over for the year, I have one more class […]

Day 19 – Childishness

I was listening to a podcast this morning about BPD, called Survivor Radio Cafe. In it they interviewed AJ Mahari, a counsellor and recovered BPD’er. There was some really good stuff in there, that I’d like to share. -The first thing to remember is that we are already survivors. We’ve been abused and abandoned, but […]